What a week! I am feeling extremely exhausted and stressed out. My body seems to be signaling me to slow down a bit - it would appear I am contracting all kinds of weird infections right now. For the first time ever, one of my eyes is severely inflamed. Now, I thought that wouldn’t be too much of a big deal, but seemingly in pregnancy everything is.

I went to my regular check up yesterday and found out our ickle fella is now about 36 cm (14 in) long and weighs ca. 1120 grams (2.5 lbs). She’s growing pretty fast, isn’t she? Anyway, my doctor saw my swollen eye and told me to get it checked out immediately. Apparently that kind of infection can easily spread within your body and that’s when our little girl would really be in danger. So off I went to see a specialist about this and he prescribed a sort of antiobiotic cream (which he said you’re not really supposed to be using during pregnancy, cause it can potentially harm the baby, but he strongly advised me to use it anyway, cause the infection spreading would be way more dangerous at this point) and told me about several other things I can do to try and heal more quickly, like applying a wet and warm cloth to my eye every now and again. If things don’t improve by the end of next week, I am to go back to see him.

Unfortunately I have been suffering a constant headache ever since the swelling began - whenever I move my eye it feels like someone is rather forcefully stabbing needles into the entire left side of my face. My eye is almost swollen completely shut and keeps tearing up. I have an important uni exam coming up in a few weeks, so I am basically reading all day. Not pleasant in this condition, let me tell you - amazing to see how often you actually move your eye throughout any given day.

Anyway, back to Munchkin News: Our baby girl is hiding somewhere under my ribcage, lying sideways. The doc says she still has enough time to move into the proper starting position, so she’s perfectly fine to keep kicking downwards with her little feet, as is her wont. It’s the teensiest bit uncomfortable as she always seems to be aiming directly for my bladder - as long as I can feel her kick, though, she’s more than welcome to reposition a few organs or give them a nice new shape altogether.

We can finally pick up the pram tomorrow, yay! Makes this whole experience seem much more real somehow. I’m so excited that I am almost inclined to forget the huge amount of money we paid for this thing.

12 weeks to go - a load of things to take care of until then! I hope all is well with you out there.

Nothing new to report healthwise, really. To answer your questions: it was Group B Streptococcus and some sort of anaerobic bacteria I was diagnosed with. Seemingly the latter is nothing to worry about at all, so it won’t even be treated. I did, however, have to take Penicillin for five days in order to get rid of the other type of bacteria. I will be back at the doc’s on the 27th, where they’ll do another test to see if the bacteria are still there. While I am relieved that these things are treatable and seem to be quite common, I still do not appreciate the way my doctor dealt with all this. I really don’t feel too comfortable with him in this pregnancy, but I think I am too far along now to just go and look for someone else.

I did not really get the chance to talk to my midwife properly this time around either, as the Laddie and I only went to see her in the hospital to look at the newly built delivery rooms (which look very cozy, btw). I’ll see her again in two weeks or so, this time at the practice itself. Maybe that’ll be a better place to talk.

So time is getting on and we’re almost done with our baby-related shopping. Since this whole shopping experience has not been as fun for me as I would have liked, I am quite happy about that, too. German baby stores just plain suck. Running back and forth between stores just to find the basic things on our list has really exhausted me. I ended up ordering most things online, as that turned out to be somewhat cheaper and also involved much less hassle. In any case, there are only a few things left on my list and I am hoping to tick them off within the next two weeks.

Now that we got all the baby stuff here, we’re starting to sort out the apartment as well. Both the Laddie and I are extremely frustrated with our living arrangements right now, as we’re living in what in Germany is called a two room apartment. Besides a tiny bathroom and kitchen, we only have a living room and a bedroom (both equally tiny) to call our own. This basically means our ickle Munchkin will not have her own room until we move into a bigger apartment. Poorest fella! I hope it’ll be ok for a little while.

We’ve been looking for a bigger apartment for a while now, but so far have had no luck at all in finding anything. Three room apartments seem hard to come by and if you actually do find something, they’re generally way above our budget. If we had somewhere around 800-900 Euros (ca. 1200-1300 Dollars) to spend per month, we’d be ok, as there are a few more things available in that price range. Seeing as how this kind of rent would leave us with virtually no money at all to spend on anything else, it’s just not an option. You see, wages in Berlin are generally lower than elsewhere in Germany…600 Euros we could probably manage to pay at a very big stretch, but that’s really it. Within this range, you will find two or three apartments available every week and they’re usually either gone very quickly or have something seriously wrong with them. There are, of course, districts in Berlin where you could easily rent a bigger apartment for 500 Euros per month, but that would be at the cost of general safety. I just can’t imagine moving anywhere with a high crime rate.

So we’re still looking for a new apartment, but we’re not holding out too much hope. Accepting our current situation for what it is, the Laddie and I will now sort through all our things. We’d like to reorganize our cellar to be able to store more stuff there, thereby hopefully creating more storage space in the apartment itself. Tricky, that.

We’ve finally decided on a name for our little one, too. We’ve browsed through a load of books and in the end decided to choose something classic: Sophie. She’ll also hold my mother’s and the Laddie’s grandmother’s first names in addition to that.

Off to do some research on bilingual upbringing. Hope you’re all doing well!

Man, did I get pissed off yesterday! I went to my regular check up and wanted to get answers to a few questions. It seems they’d found some sort of bacteria during the last routine smear test. Obviously I’d wanted to know a) where I could have gotten that, b) could it have been avoided, c) do I need to be treated for it and d) is my baby in danger because of it? Also, for the first time since I’ve started to feel Munchkin’s kicks, I hadn’t felt her for an entire day and she would not respond to the usual stimulation - belly stroking, talking…you know. I wanted to know if that’s ok, because I frankly got a bit worried there.

My neighbor has lost her baby boy because of some such bacterial infection - she did not get treated for it, the infection spread and induced labor. It was way too early in the pregnancy, they could not save her boy. Obviously I freaked out when I heard I had seemingly contracted some sort of bacteria.

Unloading all my questions at the practice, all I really got was a really arrogant half-smile and I was informed that I am way too worried and should be less panicky. There’s more to it, but this was really at the bottom of it. I didn’t expect any such statement and was quite taken aback by it, so I couldn’t even react. I just started to cry when the Laddie and I had left the practice.

You see, apart from my neighbor there’s also another girl I personally know of who has lost her twins because of this kind of complication. And as though that wasn’t enough, I know that my mother lost her first baby girl - she just died in the womb a few days before the estimated due date - OF COURSE I am anxious and panicked. This doctor might have been a gynecologist for the last 435 years, but that still does not mean he has any idea whatsoever about what you’re going through in your first pregnancy, being a man and all. I myself have already lost a baby and I am scared shitless that anything could happen to our little girl. What in the world is wrong with asking these questions?

Anyway, yet another girlfriend has told me in the meantime that she’s had the same thing happen in her first pregnancy. Seemingly there is nothing at all you can do to prevent contracting this type of bacteria - it just happens. A lot of women obviously are affected by it, but it’s not usually noticed and it is quite harmless - unless you’re pregnant. I will be taking pills for another four days now and then I’ll be back at the practice in three weeks.

Next week I’ll also call my midwife to schedule yet another appointment at the hospital - hopefully I’ll be able to talk to her in a little bit more detail.

Slowly but surely we’re working our way through our list of things to get for Munchkin. As promised, here are some pictures for you:

Baby Buggy

You can actually use this one for up to 3 years, as you can change the seat that comes with it. We chose blue as our colour. Teutonia is a well-loved and trusted brand over here in Germany - and it was the only buggy that would fit into our tiny car. We’re still waiting for it to come in though…they usually take between 8 and 14 weeks to deliver.

Baby Car Seat

This is the one thing without which they do not let you leave the hospital in Germany if you have a newborn baby with you - a Maxi Cosi. Our colour is called ‘Velvet Morning’.

Baby Balcony

Here we have Munchkin’s first bed - it’s called ‘Stubenwagen’ in German. You can have it hooked onto your bed ,which is what we’ve done. This way, you can have your baby more or less right beside you at night and feed her without too much disruption. Also, the Baby Balcony has wheels, so you can basically have it with you anywhere in the apartment. Once your baby is too big to sleep in it, the whole thing can be transformed into sort of a mini sofa. Practical, huh?

Baby Bed

As you don’t know how long exactly your ickle fella will be able to sleep in the baby balcony or whether she’ll even like it at all, we thought it’d be best to have a proper bed ready as well. Again, a catalogue picture…we’ll be getting rid of the dolphin you see on the front - I seriously dislike that logo, so I think I will make something to cover it.

Clothes

Here’s a tiny selection of clothes that we bought for Munchkin. Isn’t it crazy how small they are ?!

Soft Toys

We’re not really buying a whole lot of toys yet, but here are a few we got so far. You’re seeing a little mobile (the sheep) which will go over the changing table, a teddy bear rattle, a chain thing that can go on either the car seat or the baby buggy and a soft flower made by Haba. It makes noises when you grab it on one side, too and is seemingly very popular with the little ones. :)

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Just recently I’d started to feel better physically and had hoped things would ony get better from now on. Unfortunately though it does not seem like I should be without the usual pregnancy side effects for long. As of today - at 24+5 - , I am feeling just as sick and ill again as I did in the beginning of the pregnancy. Not very nice. I did read, however, that this is supposedly normal, so…as long as Munchkin is fine, so am I. My next check up will be on Wednesday, so I will find out how our little girl is doing then. This constant anxiety is really getting to me…

We also ordered a new book with baby names today, as unfortunately we haven’t really made up our minds on a particular name yet. Such a difficult decision to make!