Hee hee, we were missing for a month and now we are posting like mad!

So, I wanna talk about what has happened to me recently, but it’s sorta private, so I will have to ask you to log in.

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Phew, that was not so hard, was it?

When I got pregnant, I was aware that breastfeeding had been an issue for the women in my family for generations. Unfortunately, in most cases there is no way for me to find out why most of the babies in my family have been bottle-fed. Only my aunt was able to enlighten me as far as her own story goes - her first child was very ill, so he was taken away straight after the birth and fed formula while apart from his mother. My aunt tried to feed both of her daughters when they were born, but to no avail - no milk would come. I was told that my mother also was unable to breastfeed my sister and me, but I never really found out any details about that. So during this first pregnancy, I was aware that I might not be able to nurse my child at all - I wanted to, mind you, but I told myself I would not beat myself up overly much if it did not work out for some reason.

So, up until the birth of my little girl, I felt quite confident that I would be able to arrange myself with formula feeding, if that’s what it had to be. Well, what can I say? I seem to have underestimated my subconscious grossly.

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In any case, after a long period of intense emotional struggle, my little baby and I now seem to have come to an agreement of sorts. I get to nurse her as long as she will tolerate it. When she is too tired to continue trying, she gets the bottle.

Phew…now that I am coming to terms with this chapter of raising my baby, I am focusing on having her close to me - I recently acquired a Sling and am now getting an advisor in for that as well, as I seem to struggle with the concept of binding it properly. Since I know it’s really good for my fella, though, I will keep trying. Pictures to follow, if success sets in

Hey there!

I am terribly sorry for the long silence - things have been incredibly strange and hectic around here lately, not only because of our little baby girl, but also certain other developments, which I will hopefully be able to elaborate on soon. Right now, I can never really be sure of how much longer our fella will be asleep, so I need to be quick. Also, long overdue, here are some pictures of our firstborn for you.

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Her birth was quite an experience for us both, I daresay. Our Munchkin was remarkably unimpressed by the induced labor and refused to scoot down properly - so, after almost an entire (very warm) day filled with contractions, power walking, pill taking and devoid of either water of food (since they thought they might to potentially have to put me under general anesthesia later on, they did not want to take the risk a full belly might pose), it was decided at 4 pm that Munchkin would have to be brought into this world via c-section.

I was incredibly scared of the operation itself, the PDA and the time after, so I indulged in a good cry for a little while after I got the news. After that, everything moved extremely quickly. Putting the PDA into place actually hurt more than I thought. The resulting numbness of my lower half was scary, to say the least - I felt utterly out of control and was mortified, as the team of nurses had to lift me off the birthing bed that I was lying on and onto the contraption which you apparently need to be on to get a c-section done.

I started shaking uncontrollably and felt sick to my stomach very soon - I threw up about 8 times between this point and the end of the surgery. I was told that both the shaking and the sickness were common side effects of the stuff running through the nice little tube sticking in my back. The Laddie was with me all the way - I can’t express what it means to me that he was just there, calmly talking to me about the things we’d already prepared for our fella and what it’d be like once she’d be with us, all the while discreetly wiping away at my mouth to keep me comfortable when I’d thrown up yet again.

My doctor then proved my midwife right - she had said to me before that he takes only one minute to get to the baby after the initial cutting at a c-section. Amazingly, so he did. I’d barely ‘felt’ the cutting when I heard a loud cry and my baby girl was held up for me to see. My wrinkly little baby…she looked thoroughly displeased. Our Munchkin was born on 13th of May, 2008 at 5:30 pm.

I managed to convince the Laddie to leave my side and go be with Munchkin while she was getting her initial check up - just a minute later she was brought back in and I could give her a kiss. Cute blue eyes were looking at me slightly confusedly before my baby was taken away again to get dressed.

After I had gotten stitched up, I was monitored close to the operating theatre for quite a while, but was able to hold my child for the very first time. The situation itself was a little bit awkward, as I had to try not to pull any of my cables or tubes out while holding her, but the Laddie and I were so fascinated with our baby that this was not much of an issue for long.

Later I was eventually moved to my room, where things would develop not so very perfectly over the next few days - but that’s a story for yet another entry.

There is a load of things I want to tell you all about, but for the time being, I will have to go and try to get some rest while I can. I hope you’re all doing wonderful out there!