I got up at 5 am, or as I like to call it, “5 asleep time”! I was planning to leave straight away, but I realized that I did not prepare everything as I should have done the night before. To my credit, I did pack my bag the night before, just not got everything, like shower stuff.

I finally trip out the door and make the train station at 5:30 am….15 to 20 minutes behind schedule

It was a strange experience on the train. Everyone looked like they were in a bloodless version of a zombie movie, barely able to put one foot in front of the other. It was a stark difference to the rush “get out of my freaking way” hour.

After changing trains, I have to walk half a mile to get to the gym. I could take the bus, but then that’s like ordering a super sized burger meal and insisting your getting a diet coke, cause you’re on a diet. If I power walked it, maybe I could consider it part of my workout, but what I do in the gym is what I am told to do and if there is something extra I do, then that is only a bonus…not a replacement.

Climbing the stairs to the third freaking floor, I notice it’s 6 am and I am in trouble. Two hours of workout and then getting changed into my gear, then out again, shower and then that half mile to the station, only to get another train! I am not going to make it to work on time. To top it all off, I get to the floor and the door is shut. Oh crap, the door is closed…They are closed! All this for nothing. Well, silly me forgot that my gym is a 24 hour gym and there is a slot for my membership card.

I get on with my workout. Focused on the task at hand and no messing around. I struggle with the stretching, though. It’s the move where you take one foot with your hand (bent at the knee) and then push your knee back and your foot up high to your butt. It looks like a move from a MC Hammer dance. Anyways, my calves are quite beefy (I like to walk), but my upper leg to my thigh is like a sack of potatos under my skin. I thus can’t bend my leg enough to grab my foot with my hand.

To be honest, I am fine with all the workout maneuvers, except all these stretches I have to do for ten minutes. All the weight machines are even at the lowest weight and I am struggling, yet I don’t feel embarrassed. Maybe it’s because I am protected by a clump of metal. Maybe it’s because people around me are struggling, too. Or maybe it’s because the stretching is a physical sign that I am grossly overweight.

Needless to say, the gym was empty, because I am the only silly sod that had the smart idea to go in a 6 am! By the time I get to my final 45 minutes burn, people do start to shuffle in, looking just as unhappy as I did when I got in. But you guys got at least one more hour of sleep than I did!

I leave for the shower and it’s gotten a little more busy, but I am happy with my workout and the fact that there were not so many people to witness my beached whale on a bike action. I proceeded to fly like the wind to get to work on time.

8:30 am is when I get into work. I did not rush the workout that much, was 20 minutes behind and still I get into work half an hour early. Well, better early than late!

The rest of the day I was strangely in a good mood and upbeat. I felt better about myself and I felt like I had more energy, even though I expelled a lot of it with two hours of pain!

I’ll be off to the gym again on Friday. Tomorrow morning! Let’s see how this goes now…

Will I be just as happy, will I maybe start to manage the stretches better, or will I be eaten by the bloodless zombies on the train?

What happens when you take a wrist watch, a vacuum cleaner and an alien interdimensional time machine… My spare time is getting sucked away from me.

So it has come to this. After 3 months of not going to the gym (but still paying for it), it has now finally got to stop. Tomorrow morining I am going to the gym….At 5 am.

My spare time or really Munchkin time has to exsist. I can’t just go to the gym after work and then get home about 9 pm, when Munchkin is asleep and I won’t be able to interact with her. It’s bad enough that I get home at 7 pm to begin with.

I normally leave home at 8:15 am to go to work, which gives me dead on 45 minutes to get to work (starting at 9 am). If we work backwards, I need 2 hours at the gym in my workout. So, not including travel, I would need to leave at 6:15 am. I will need to then add the changing time of 20 minutes (in and out), so I am at 5:55 am.

It takes 45 minutes to get to my work, as I said before, so I have a margin of 10 minutes. That’s 10 stinking minutes to get my ass out of bed and off to the gym. Also, remember that I in fact have to get to the gym, but since its “almost” on my way to work and the trains are pretty good from there, I don’t think I need to worry too much.

I do feel sorry for the alarm clock, though. It’s going to take the most of my morning sleepy RAGE!

Oh, I can see it now. Laddie up…Laddie mad…Laddie must work out! Laddie must work….Laddie eat food… Laddie sleep! All said in the finest Hulk impression.

Laddie go and kiss woman

I’ll give you guys an update of things tomorrow.

It’s time to face the facts. I’m still struggling to get into a daily routine with our Munchkin, but I really need to see where I’m at in terms of weight, getting healthy and all that jazz.

I started blogging about my weight loss journey at a weight of about 139 kg/309 lbs and 5′9”, if I remember correctly. I actually dropped a few kilos before I got pregnant. When I did find out I was going to be a mommy, I stopped recording my weight on a regular basis, because I did not want to pressure myself in that area while I was helping our little Munchkin grow. A few days ago then, I weighed in at 118 kg/ 260 lbs. I am surprised, pleased and scared at this number. While I absolutely love that I am a ‘mere’ 18 kg/40 lbs away from the double digits at the moment, I am not comfortable with the fact that I did absolutely nothing healthy to arrive at this weight. I ate what I wanted during the pregnancy, never paid any attention to calories or fat content, really. When I wanted something, I ate it. Obviously I did not eat anything that was strictly off limits - stuff that could potentially harm our Munchkin -, but other than that, nothing was monitored.

To be honest, I think I will gain all this weight back in a flash once I stop breastfeeding. Right now, my eating habits are really erratic at best. Whenever I nurse our fella, I get intense cravings. Really, really intense cravings. More often than not, I still eat what I want when I want it. However, since I am seemingly burning a hell of a lot of calories through breastfeeding alone, I am managing to maintain my weight at the moment. All this lost weight and effortless maintaing scares me - I really do think it’s extremely unnatural, it just can’t last.

That said, starting tomorrow, I will pay better attention to my food intake. I do know my biggest problem is and always has been chocolate. I’ve been trying to gradually switch to darker chocolate - I’ve even tried 70% cocoa solids, but that’s not for me just yet. I am comfortable at 56% right now, slowly inching my way up. I do believe that darker chocolate is healthier than milk chocolate and I also can’t eat as much of it. Tricking myself, so to speak. Also, I am trying to pay attention to the quality of the chocolate I consume. Other than that, I now try to stay away from other sweets as much as I can, thereby reducing my sugar intake considerably. Proper meals are a totally different story, but I have to do this step by step - when I look at the big picture, at what I really need to change or adjust, I do feel slightly overwhelmed. So, making my preferred chocolate darker it is.

As for exercise, well…I will probably forever have a problem with that. At least I am going for daily walks with Munchkin now, which is a big improvement and makes us both feel good. I will have to think about what else I can do soon. But…baby steps, Lassie, baby steps. Don’t get ahead of yourself.

Anyway, I am officially back in the healthy living and eating business, if not necessarily back to the extremely strict weight loss program yet - after all, I am still nursing and diets are not recommended. So I will focus on healthier choices for now.

I hope you’re all doing great out there!

Yes, folks and friends, breastfeeding is awesome! People might wonder how one can get so enthusiastic about something like this, but I gotta say, getting our Munchkin back to nursing properly has changed a lot around here. I can go places with her without worrying about what to take with me, I always know I can feed her whenever she needs it. Feeding her this way has enabled me to socialize again, too, which I really needed at this point. I am currently trying to find bilingual playgroups that I could go to with our Munchkin, but it’s proving difficult.

The baby fella and I are slowly building up a routine now - I can’t believe how long it’s taken me to get organized. Now other things need to be taken care of. For example, I thought we could stay in our little one bedroom apartment for a while longer, but now I really don’t see how. There is just so little space, it’s crazy - even just doing the laundry on a regular basis has become a problem. I just don’t know how that’s supposed to work in winter, when I won’t be able to hang our washing on the balcony any more. The only problem we’re facing now are high rents for two bedroom apartments. Well, something’s gotta change, so I’ll just keep looking. Honestly though, I find it extremely sad that we’re unable to afford a decent apartment, even with the Laddie’s full-time job.

I want to try and blog on a more regular basis again, too - bear with me, I am still trying to get back to my usual organized self. I’ll leave you with a few new pictures today.

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Inspired by Dietgirl’s ‘8 Things To Do Before You Die’, I thought I would do my own 5 things I would expect to change when I am thin.

1. Be able to keep up with my child.

I would say run a marathon, but then it would be nothing that would interest me. The amount of time that has to go into a project like that is staggering and I am not talking about it coming from a “being fat” point of view. When you’re thin, you still have to keep to a peak physical fitness, which is something I don’t want to do - for a race! No, if I have to keep at a peak level, I want it to be for something close to my heart. Keeping up with my daughter when she is older is a perfect example. Good health of course is assumed at this point, which is something I want to have.

2. Be more alert and awake (without medical intervention).

If you have been keeping up with the posts, you know I have a sleep apnea condition, where I stop breathing during the night. When I wake up, it feels like I have run a marathon without all the cool weight loss stuff. It’s because my body needs to fight to keep me breathing that makes me expell a lot of energy. Well, I wear a mask for this at nights, but it does not always help. The ultimate downside to this is that I fall asleep on a dime. Honestly, even with the baby in my arms I have to fight to stay awake, if I am not constantly engaged.

3. Run up two flights of stairs without breaking into a sweat or dying of a heart attack.

The stairs in question are two flights of stairs in the train station where I have to change trains while going to work. These stairs I have to climb quickly in order to make my next train on time. It’s always easier to go down them, damn gravity!

4. Water ski again.

Not that I really water skied properly before. It was more like being dragged along the water face first, but it was fun. I want to be able to go out in a wetsuit without people staring at me, or some kids mistaking me for a sea lion out on the water…On that note, I do a mean impression - saving that for a rainy blog day

5. Have more stamina.

Well…the Lassie would not mind…

I wanted to touch on some things that I would “like” for my photography hobby (which seems to have taken over quite a bit).

I use a Fuji FinePix S5700, also known as S700 in the US (because Nikon has a S5700 in the US).

You could also consider this a list for you, if you want to start photography, as you will probably need or want this at some point when you’re starting out.

1. Flickr Pro account - Mass high resolution storage on the web, share, comment and also videos make this a total must. Also, unrelated to being pro or not, you can join groups with subject matters that are either photography styles, or a group for the camera itself.

2. New Tripod - Absolute must! If you want to take anything that is low light, you will need a tripod, as you have to lower the shutter speed (allow the light to enter the camera for a longer time) and thus, if the camera is in your hands, you will get camera shake or blurred images.

3. Book: The Digital Photography Book by Scott Kelby - I normally don’t like Kelby’s writing style, but I have seen a lot of reviews that have been good about this book. So I am open to it now and hopefully I can see past the style, like so many people have.

4. Cokin A Photo Filter System - This will give me an interchangeable system of polarizer, UV and gradient filters. My buddy Rob tested these out and they are super for the S5700.

5. Wide Angle Fisheye lens - This lens is curved and lets you take a wider image.