Last Friday my aunt died of cancer. She was a heavy heavy drinker and smoker, so it really was not a surprise that she would encounter health problems at some point. I know this sounds callous, but when you see someone like her, who lives for her addictions, you tend to expect the worst.

She was suffering very badly from a tumor in her neck and her liver, so in the end she was in a lot of pain and died what seemed like a sudden death. One day she was ‘fine’ and then hours later it was clear she would die. She was brought to a hospital, given a large dose of morphine, fluid filled her lungs and she passed away.

I have trouble getting upset about it, though, which on its own upsets me. I mean, I loved her as my aunt, she was always nice to me, but I can’t help but feel glad (although glad as a word here is too happy) that she is no longer suffering.

Then I look to my Gran. Within the past few years, she has suffered great loss. My Grandad died of dementia, which has partly been attributed to smoking and working in the coal mines (blocked arteries reducing the flow of blood to the brain). This was my first funeral, just so you know how long this tragedy has evaded our family. It’s a time I will never ever forget! I love my Grandad so very much and his death still weighs heavily on me.

My Gran lost her sister only months later, which to me is just horrifying. Just as my Granddad died, she was in Edinburgh, trying to cross the street and by accounts someone was trying to force this 80+ year old woman across the road. She fell and broke her arm amongst other things. The Lassie and I visited her in hospital after my Granddad’s funeral to let her know how it went and to see if she needed anything. Typical Auntie A, she was waving her arms around with metal pins sticking out, saying everything was fine and she’d like some sweets while she watched Emmerdale on the TV. A few weeks later, she died from an infection she received while in care.

At my Granddad’s funeral (or more specifically, the day after), the Lassie was talking to Auntie J (my Gran’s daughter) and she complained about a pain in her arm. As it turns out, she too was suffering from cancer. Auntie J died about a year later almost to the day.

My Gran’s last living daughter was Auntie K, who I’ve already talked about.

We have had a mix of people there – Superhero strong, old and frail, overweight and way too thin. All with various issues like smoking or drinking (with the exception of Auntie A, she was a saint!). What should that tell me about life?

For me it is to stay healthy and to get there in a healthy way. Don’t wait until tomorrow to do it. Force yourself to get there! Seeing the huge hole that the deaths of these people tore into our lives, it seems more important than ever to spend every moment with your loved ones as happy and healthy as possible, to make sure you leave more happy memories than you leave negative ones.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 6th, 2009 at 12:11 am and is filed under Life Pill. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.