For what it’s worth, my family probably doesn’t agree with a single thing we’re doing with our child but I don’t really care. When they over step their bounds or make snide remarks about “oh you’re going to be THAT kind of Mom” I ask them “did your mother/father/father in law/mother in law butt into your business when you were rasiing us?” Usually it’s enough to make them at least stop and think. I’ve also told my parents that “yes, you guys did the best job you could do while raising us and now we’re going to try to do the same for Sadie even if it is a little different than the choices you made”. Repeat as necessary!

Also, how little sense does it make to say, “We don’t do xyz” and then DO xyz to the child? Talk about mixed messages.

You DID speak up. Don’t be ashamed. I’d give playing with that neighbor one more chance–and perhaps having a short talk about disciplining first “Let’s agree to discipline our OWN children and not each others’ mmmkay?” If she doesn’t agree? Don’t go back.