This is something really hard to describe, so bear with me.

The bed can be “configured” into other uses. A junior bed, to a full cot, to something that resembles a baby balcony. We thought we would put it into baby balcony mode and go go gadget screw driver, the masterpiece was complete. I then placed the standard thickness mattress into the bed and watched in confusion, as the protective bar was just a little too high. How high? Well, let me put it this way: Munchkin would not get over it, or under it. But if she were to slip her hands or feet in, they could easily get stuck at the knee or elbow. If she pushed hard enough, I am sure she could trap her head and it would hurt! Rather than take the risk, I remove said bar, which so happens to also obstruct the baby’s route to mommy heaven. The bar is out and there are four screws that kept it in place (two at the headboard and two at the footboard). I remove the footboard without much fuss. But the headboard is a different story. The screws are not really standard hardware store kit, one half of the screw is made for wood, the other half is like a screw for a nut or bolt. What happens is that the wood half goes into the headboard and the bolt half has a strange metal cap that screws in and allows for the bar to lock into place.

So I start turning the cap and thus the screw - the cap falls off, leaving the screw in the wood. Oh crap, the screw is stuck. I try and put the cap back in and tighten it more (making the screw and all go deeper into the wood), but the cap is too lose to the screw and will not come out. After about a minute of tightening and seeing it does not work, suddenly the cap comes lose, taking the bolt with it and the other half of the screw is stuck in the wood.

Yes, by hand, I twisted a metal rod to break in half. Hulk strong, but damn! So the wooden part of the screw has this dangerous sharp bit still sticking out, that is completely round and too small to get with the pliers or to get it out a different way. Did I mention that the screw below it is also stuck?

We contacted both the seller and Dolphin for help in the matter, as it is plain to see that we’re dealing with a failure in the parts here. You should be able to configure the bed…I mean, tha’s why we bought it.

The reply was less than helpful! In short: Your fault! We won’t replace and anyways, we don’t make that bed anymore.

SO MUCH FOR THE FREAKING GUARANTEE!!!!!!!!!! Lifetime, my arse!

We have recruited our fleet of lawyers to write a nice letter, explaining to them in more precise terms that the bed simply failed to do its job.

It’s a fine line though, because I broke it…but was it really my fault?

The baby fella and I are slowly building up a routine now - I can’t believe how long it’s taken me to get organized. Now other things need to be taken care of. For example, I thought we could stay in our little one bedroom apartment for a while longer, but now I really don’t see how. There is just so little space, it’s crazy - even just doing the laundry on a regular basis has become a problem. I just don’t know how that’s supposed to work in winter, when I won’t be able to hang our washing on the balcony any more. The only problem we’re facing now are high rents for two bedroom apartments. Well, something’s gotta change, so I’ll just keep looking. Honestly though, I find it extremely sad that we’re unable to afford a decent apartment, even with the Laddie’s full-time job.

I want to try and blog on a more regular basis again, too - bear with me, I am still trying to get back to my usual organized self. I’ll leave you with a few new pictures today.

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For the first time in a looooong while, our baby fella has decided to actually fall asleep in her cot, so I decided to hurry up and write an ickle post while I have the chance.

Nursing issues have been resolved - hooray!! For the last eight weeks, my little one and I have been struggling. A few days ago then, my baby girl decided she wanted to nurse like there is no tomorrow - no ‘tools’ needed anymore! This development makes me very, very happy. And it’s all so handy, too. When she wants food, I can just sit down and nurse my baby. No more fussing with bottles and all that jazz.

Other than that, Sophie is growing and developing very nicely. We just had the U3 this Monday - the required checkups for children are ‘Us’ over here. U stands for ‘Untersuchung’, which means examination. So anyway, we’ve had the hip screening and everything and our Munchkin is totally healthy. She is now about 56,5 cm /22.4 in tall and weighs 5440 grams/ 12 lbs.

Finally, the biggest news for today: We got our very first conscious smile from our baby fella yesterday! She’s 8 weeks old now and we were soooo waiting for it. Today, she smiles quite often when I talk to her - my heart just melts every time.

Here are some more pics of our little one and also a little video - ignore my German babbling, I took the video for my sister.

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So, up until the birth of my little girl, I felt quite confident that I would be able to arrange myself with formula feeding, if that’s what it had to be. Well, what can I say? I seem to have underestimated my subconscious grossly.

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In any case, after a long period of intense emotional struggle, my little baby and I now seem to have come to an agreement of sorts. I get to nurse her as long as she will tolerate it. When she is too tired to continue trying, she gets the bottle.

Phew…now that I am coming to terms with this chapter of raising my baby, I am focusing on having her close to me - I recently acquired a Sling and am now getting an advisor in for that as well, as I seem to struggle with the concept of binding it properly. Since I know it’s really good for my fella, though, I will keep trying. Pictures to follow, if success sets in

I am terribly sorry for the long silence - things have been incredibly strange and hectic around here lately, not only because of our little baby girl, but also certain other developments, which I will hopefully be able to elaborate on soon. Right now, I can never really be sure of how much longer our fella will be asleep, so I need to be quick. Also, long overdue, here are some pictures of our firstborn for you.

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Her birth was quite an experience for us both, I daresay. Our Munchkin was remarkably unimpressed by the induced labor and refused to scoot down properly - so, after almost an entire (very warm) day filled with contractions, power walking, pill taking and devoid of either water of food (since they thought they might to potentially have to put me under general anesthesia later on, they did not want to take the risk a full belly might pose), it was decided at 4 pm that Munchkin would have to be brought into this world via c-section.

I was incredibly scared of the operation itself, the PDA and the time after, so I indulged in a good cry for a little while after I got the news. After that, everything moved extremely quickly. Putting the PDA into place actually hurt more than I thought. The resulting numbness of my lower half was scary, to say the least - I felt utterly out of control and was mortified, as the team of nurses had to lift me off the birthing bed that I was lying on and onto the contraption which you apparently need to be on to get a c-section done.

I started shaking uncontrollably and felt sick to my stomach very soon - I threw up about 8 times between this point and the end of the surgery. I was told that both the shaking and the sickness were common side effects of the stuff running through the nice little tube sticking in my back. The Laddie was with me all the way - I can’t express what it means to me that he was just there, calmly talking to me about the things we’d already prepared for our fella and what it’d be like once she’d be with us, all the while discreetly wiping away at my mouth to keep me comfortable when I’d thrown up yet again.

My doctor then proved my midwife right - she had said to me before that he takes only one minute to get to the baby after the initial cutting at a c-section. Amazingly, so he did. I’d barely ‘felt’ the cutting when I heard a loud cry and my baby girl was held up for me to see. My wrinkly little baby…she looked thoroughly displeased. Our Munchkin was born on 13th of May, 2008 at 5:30 pm.

I managed to convince the Laddie to leave my side and go be with Munchkin while she was getting her initial check up - just a minute later she was brought back in and I could give her a kiss. Cute blue eyes were looking at me slightly confusedly before my baby was taken away again to get dressed.

After I had gotten stitched up, I was monitored close to the operating theatre for quite a while, but was able to hold my child for the very first time. The situation itself was a little bit awkward, as I had to try not to pull any of my cables or tubes out while holding her, but the Laddie and I were so fascinated with our baby that this was not much of an issue for long.

Later I was eventually moved to my room, where things would develop not so very perfectly over the next few days - but that’s a story for yet another entry.

There is a load of things I want to tell you all about, but for the time being, I will have to go and try to get some rest while I can. I hope you’re all doing wonderful out there!

We will get more information as soon as possible!

I unexpectedly had to go into the hospital last week, because Munchkin had decided to squeeze some of my organs quite uncomfortably - I could not walk upright, so bad was the pain. They took all kinds of tests and in the end I was just given painkillers, as unfortunately there is nothing else that can be done when the fella swishes around like that. In any case, the doctor obviously wrote a report and, as I found out only later, stated in it that I was suffering from pregnancy diabetes and that the size of our baby’s belly was three weeks ahead of what it should be, while everything else was developed normally. I was quite shocked, as my own doctor said before that my blood sugar was fine. I was really worried and went to speak to my midwife on the next day, when we attended a birth prep class she was giving.

Talking to my midwife, it was suggested that I get monitored for gestosis from now on and that I go to get my regular check ups once a week as well (it’d been once every two weeks before that) to catch any potential complications early on. She said all that because I’ve also started to gain weight rather rapidly, although I have not changed my eating habits and had only lost weight until a few weeks ago. By the time of the following check up, I had gained 2.5 kg/5.5 lbs in two weeks! Obviously I was really worried about all this, but the midwife said it’d be fine for me to get checked out properly during the next regular check up, so long as my blood pressure was ok.

The birth prep class was fine, btw. I still feel very uncomfortable about the whole PDA business, but I suppose I will try to keep an open mind for it. There is not much else out there to relieve the pain for a little while which won’t affect the baby in the process, so…I am just worried they will do more harm than good because I am so freaking overweight. My midwife said that it would be good to be open to it and that she’s only extremely rarely seen anything go wrong (and none of it involved paralysis), so I am really trying to be calm about it. In the end, nothing will be done that I don’t consent to, anyway.

I found out today that a girl who also was in our prep class and who had exactly the same due date as I do is already in hospital giving birth to her baby boy. Scary, that…things are getting very real now. I will only be able to give birth at my desired clinic starting with the 24th of April, so I am hoping our little girl decides to stay in my belly a little while longer.

Last week then, I finally had the first check up in my pregnancy where I felt actually taken seriously and reassured. I told my doc about the hospital worries and what the doctor there had written in her report. He took quite a while explaining things to me and measuring our baby’s belly, etc. - right when he looked at the belly he said everything looks just fine, but that he would measure things to make sure. He showed me how he did it and said that our baby is perfectly fine - her belly and all. Such a relief!! He even said that some babies just do have different parts of their bodies developed differently - just like everyone does not look like everyone else. It wouldn’t necessarily have to mean anything bad if the belly had been bigger - besides, he said the important thing here is to trust my other doctor. This doctor sees me on a regular basis and if he says that there is nothing to worry about with regard to my blood sugar levels, I should trust him.

Other than that, The Laddie and I are due to get a CD with new pictures of our little fella - I went and got some Baby TV done privately, as we haven’t gotten any new pics since week 22 of the pregnancy. Unfortunately, the new pics aren’t that great - I am just too far along in the pregnancy to get proper pics any more, but I wanted to try anyway. We also got another CTG scan done and the Laddie was able to hear our fella! It was all eally exciting and touching - even though our little girl on that day chose to kick and make waves in my belly quite wildly, making the midwife laugh, we could hear her fast little heartbeat.

I’ll be back at the doc’s on Thursday - I wonder if Sophie is getting ready to move out yet…

I was shocked - of course I know that I should always be prepared for a c-section to happen regardless, but here I was told flat out that they would not even wait for me to go into labor, but much rather schedule a c-section ten to seven days before my actual due date. So many things started racing through my mind at that…it’s posssible I’d have to get this done under general anesthesia (as getting a PDA can be difficult at my weight), meaning I would not get to see my baby being brought into this world (and neither would the Laddie), would not be able to move around for a while, etc. Not exactly as I’d planned…I spent this past week trying to come to terms with the fact that this is just how it’s going to be and frankly had a really hard time doing just that.

Yesterday then, I was at the doc’s again - I was so stressed out, my blood pressure was through the roof - I hadn’t slept at all the night before and threw up a little while before the Laddie and I went to the practice. As always, I got checked out before I got to see the doc and was told my values unfortunately hadn’t changed. I’d also lost 1.5 kg/3.3 lbs over the course of the last week, which of course I am not complaining about. Anyway, the CTG scan showed no signs of contractions and our fella seems to be doing fine, so it does not seem like she’ll be here any time soon.

When I talked to the doctor about the c-section, he said that he would let me try to have our fella naturally, but if anything should happen - that’s if my values should get worse before or during labor - he would perform a c-section immediately. I think in my position that’s all I can hope for, so I am happy with this. Now I need to see that things don’t get worse over the next little while and hope for the best. There’s not much I can actively do to change things, but I was told to keep drinking a lot of water and rest as much as I can, so I’ll focus on that. I’ll be back at the doc’s next week Thursday, at 38+1. Our little girl is now 52 cm/20.5 in and weighs ca. 3100 grams/6.84 lbs.

I unexpectedly had to go into the hospital last week, because Munchkin had decided to squeeze some of my organs quite uncomfortably - I could not walk upright, so bad was the pain. They took all kinds of tests and in the end I was just given painkillers, as unfortunately there is nothing else that can be done when the fella swishes around like that. In any case, the doctor obviously wrote a report and, as I found out only later, stated in it that I was suffering from pregnancy diabetes and that the size of our baby’s belly was three weeks ahead of what it should be, while everything else was developed normally. I was quite shocked, as my own doctor said before that my blood sugar was fine. I was really worried and went to speak to my midwife on the next day, when we attended a birth prep class she was giving.

Talking to my midwife, it was suggested that I get monitored for gestosis from now on and that I go to get my regular check ups once a week as well (it’d been once every two weeks before that) to catch any potential complications early on. She said all that because I’ve also started to gain weight rather rapidly, although I have not changed my eating habits and had only lost weight until a few weeks ago. By the time of the following check up, I had gained 2.5 kg/5.5 lbs in two weeks! Obviously I was really worried about all this, but the midwife said it’d be fine for me to get checked out properly during the next regular check up, so long as my blood pressure was ok.

The birth prep class was fine, btw. I still feel very uncomfortable about the whole PDA business, but I suppose I will try to keep an open mind for it. There is not much else out there to relieve the pain for a little while which won’t affect the baby in the process, so…I am just worried they will do more harm than good because I am so freaking overweight. My midwife said that it would be good to be open to it and that she’s only extremely rarely seen anything go wrong (and none of it involved paralysis), so I am really trying to be calm about it. In the end, nothing will be done that I don’t consent to, anyway.

I found out today that a girl who also was in our prep class and who had exactly the same due date as I do is already in hospital giving birth to her baby boy. Scary, that…things are getting very real now. I will only be able to give birth at my desired clinic starting with the 24th of April, so I am hoping our little girl decides to stay in my belly a little while longer.

Last week then, I finally had the first check up in my pregnancy where I felt actually taken seriously and reassured. I told my doc about the hospital worries and what the doctor there had written in her report. He took quite a while explaining things to me and measuring our baby’s belly, etc. - right when he looked at the belly he said everything looks just fine, but that he would measure things to make sure. He showed me how he did it and said that our baby is perfectly fine - her belly and all. Such a relief!! He even said that some babies just do have different parts of their bodies developed differently - just like everyone does not look like everyone else. It wouldn’t necessarily have to mean anything bad if the belly had been bigger - besides, he said the important thing here is to trust my other doctor. This doctor sees me on a regular basis and if he says that there is nothing to worry about with regard to my blood sugar levels, I should trust him.

Other than that, The Laddie and I are due to get a CD with new pictures of our little fella - I went and got some Baby TV done privately, as we haven’t gotten any new pics since week 22 of the pregnancy. Unfortunately, the new pics aren’t that great - I am just too far along in the pregnancy to get proper pics any more, but I wanted to try anyway. We also got another CTG scan done and the Laddie was able to hear our fella! It was all eally exciting and touching - even though our little girl on that day chose to kick and make waves in my belly quite wildly, making the midwife laugh, we could hear her fast little heartbeat.

I’ll be back at the doc’s on Thursday - I wonder if Sophie is getting ready to move out yet…